I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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