oh god the rape fog is back!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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