it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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