Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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