This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
