I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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