He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
