Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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