Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
