flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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