Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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