he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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