hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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