Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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