This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
