I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
