remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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