the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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