Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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