I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
