I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
why is half of my head shaved?
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