i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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