I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
