So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it glows. i had to have it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
