white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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