good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
