We won't sleep together?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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