Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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