Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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