We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
