i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
