I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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