evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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