i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
