I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
