you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
