She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
