You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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