The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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