If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
