he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
