I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
