you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
