I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
