well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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