there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
