I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
