i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
