Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
