One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
