I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
