You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
