PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
