It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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