community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
